Rachel Matthews

Everything is going to be okay.

Your recovery journey will be long and bumpy, but you’ve got this. You will have amazing support from your friends and family. Emmie will be absolutely fine. She will be the person that keeps you going and gives you the motivation you need.

You are stronger than you think, determined, and you will go through this journey with a smile on your face. I strongly recommend you break everything down, one step at a time - excuse the pun. You wouldn’t eat an elephant whole would you?!

There will be dark days, there will be tears, but talk - open up. I know you will struggle with this, but people do understand. There are so many people out there who will offer you support.

I know your main concern will be work. I am unsure why you felt the need to have your laptop brought to hospital. Surely you realised you were in no fit state to be replying to emails! You are worried you will fall behind. You are always so organised and plan for any time off. This wasn’t in the plan, so work will have to wait, and work does wait.

You are concerned about how people will treat you and if they will see you differently. You don’t know if your marriage will survive such a change in dynamics. You feel a total loss of control, all your independence taken away from you.

Physiotherapy will be hard. It’s a daily struggle to move, even if it is just a little, but trust me - it’s important you keep doing it. Rehab is key and you need to allow yourself time to do this.

Your surgeries will all go as planned.

Once you are able to start weight bearing you will struggle with a frame. Remember, you haven’t stood up in months so you will feel lightheaded! You will discover going up and downstairs on your bum is the safest option, but it’s only temporary, and you will laugh about it later.

Eventually, you will walk with crutches, then with one crutch and then unaided. There will be ups and downs, but you will exceed expectations. By the time you are at optimum recovery you will be fitter than you’ve ever been. You won’t be able to run, but you never really ran before so why change the habit of a lifetime! You will be an avid gym goer - who knew!

You will become more aware of the daily struggles of someone in a wheelchair or with a disability, the extensive planning that goes into leaving the house, the prejudice faced, the feeling that sometimes you are invisible, the realisation that our country isn’t as accessible as it seems.

You will use what you have learnt through your recovery journey to be better at your job and to help others by becoming a Peer support volunteer. Your career won’t stand still.

You are tougher than you first thought. You have an amazing support network, and if you put your mind to it, you really can achieve anything. You wouldn’t have got through this without the support of your friends and family. They will continue to be there for you.

Emmie will name your scar Whaley because it looks like a whale, and you will come to terms with this and stop feeling that you need to hide it. I know you hated the way this and your other scars looked, but what the nurses told you at the beginning is true - they will heal and barely be visible. The scars that are visible won’t bother you anymore. They are just part of who you are now.

I know you have always lived for the now, but you will do this even more, as you never know what will be around the corner. You will enjoy life, work to live rather than live to work, but you may need to reign in your spending just a little!

Emmie only needs you: she doesn’t need the activities you did together, the days out, the after-school clubs you took her too - just your company. You will have a better relationship because of this. You’re an amazing Mum - keep it up.

Your role as a peer support volunteer means you can give back and you will thoroughly enjoy this, listening to other people’s journeys and giving them an insight into your recovery. The process will help you too.

Nobody will see you differently. You are the same person, you’ll have the same friends, and your relationships will be better for everything you went through together.

You’ve got this! Emmie will be fine, you will be fine, and life will return to normal. Even if it’s a new normal, it will be a better normal.

Don’t focus on the negatives. Focus on the positives, what you have achieved and how far you have come. You will meet some amazing people in your volunteer work at Day One, although you still won’t go as far as jumping out of a plane!

All the best,

Rachel